


exothermic

by melancholarie



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Other, POV Second Person, Reader-Insert, Slow Burn, Soulmates AU, gender neutral reader, i mean pretty sloooww burn i like writing pre-relationship fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-13
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-07-23 16:38:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7471152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melancholarie/pseuds/melancholarie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>grillby/reader, soulmates AU.<br/>you only know the first words your soulmate will say to you.<br/>takes place a few years after monsters emerged</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. so, i've been thinking

The story goes, that when the Earth was very, very new; the universe gave it a present as a symbol of her love for the young planet, and of her pride regarding how far the Earth had grown. For the Earth had created towering trees and deep oceans, which are all very difficult things to do, and the universe knew that eventually the Earth would be too old to put up with being coddled and cared for under her wing.

So she gifted the young Earth with SOULs.

Bright, beautiful, and unique fragments of pure life and feeling, the SOULs would live on Earth and take care of it as it grew terribly old and only could make more concrete than trees.

But after a short while; it became evident that the SOULs were lonely for company, despite the plants and the seas and all creatures in between. So the Earth decided to make them beautiful bodies of their own while they were still young, in all sorts of shapes and forms- some more similar to the animals already dwelling, and others more unique (but equally spectacular.)

And in these beautiful bodies, the SOULs began to talk and play and befriend one another. And after many long, long years, the SOULs saw love in their friends and in each other. The Earth saw this was good for them, and let them have their freedom to be whoever they wished, and the split between what made a SOUL monster or human began to emerge as some SOULs sought out power while other SOULs were content without. But they still loved and danced and sang regardless, and eventually every SOUL had fallen deeply in love with another (or several others) and created a special bond between the two.

Eventually their beautiful bodies began to die, and slowly wither away to dust and dirt. And the SOULs had nothing to hold on to but the one they love as they were born again, seeking out new bodies the Earth was more than happy to provide.

In their new bodies, the wanderlust SOULs desperately try to find one another until they succeed, until their bodies die again.

So the cycle repeats.

 

Luckily, technology has a way of making things easier. Nowadays, shortly after the initial emergence of a SOUL’s color, we can determine the first words a soul-tied pair would speak to each other. Faster, efficient means of transport help ward off the hopeless feeling one would develop from not finding their loved one soon enough. Overseas messaging and the internet had more people meeting than ever before, and that number continued to rise!

Soulmates were certainly a crucial part of everyone’s daily life, no doubt about it. From the very first lesson about soulmates up until late adulthood, everybody’s overeager to find their special someone. From a young age, children are taught of what a soulmate truly means, the true value of a perfect companion to accompany you for the rest of your life.

You, like any other child, were overwhelmingly enthusiastic about meeting your soulmate after learning about it in class- for the first few weeks, your parents practically had to restrain you from rushing out and greeting very stranger you found in hope of finding your match. Like most everyone else, all concerns about what your soulmate might look or act like flew out the window as your SOUL eagerly urged and pressed for you to try and find the one it was in love with for eternity.

Unfortunately, as the case seems to be with most of childhood’s magic, the charm of it all slowly faded into the background. After years of eagerly joining every social group and event hoping to find The One, you eventually let go. You had plenty of time ahead of you, why rush fate? Let things come at their own pace, and for the time being enjoy your own routine!

Yes, you decided, living in the present was much nicer. If your head was always up in the clouds, you’d end up missing out on life’s small amenities- particularly the piping hot cup of cocoa that was just pressed into your fingers. What a perfect solution to a chilly autumn morning.

Sinking further into the giving cushions, you cast a slow glance around the café you frequented every morning. A lovely, modern place with ceiling to floor windows; it was wonderful to nestle up in the couches tucked against the back wall and watch the sun sleepily pull itself above the horizon, scattering light prettily over the drowsy little town.

You quickly had grown attached to this place, after stumbling inside in need of a pick-me-up on your way to work one day, and it wasn’t long before your morning routine involved waking up a bit earlier to savor the rich beverages and curl up on a couch. The owner, a slender gecko monster named Hollander, was more than happy to finally have a human patron.

“Everything to your liking?”

Said lizard had been anxiously flitting between you and his counter, hands fluttering nervously. He was always worried about whether or not his company was welcome, despite you having reassured him multiple times that his presence was appreciated.

“Just as wonderful as it was it was thirty seconds ago, Hol,” you teased, bringing the brim of the mug up to hide your grin as he spluttered.

“Sorry! I’m sorry, I- I’ve just been nervous!” The gecko began to babble, wringing his tail between his hands. “Yesterday, I had _another_ human come in and visit, and I suppose she _maybe_ liked her coffee well enough, but _what if_ she was only being polite, and _what if_ my drinks are only tasty for monsters and not humans and _what if_ you secretly don’t like anything I serve you, and _what if_ -“

“That’s a lot of what-if-s and not a lot of what-actually-happened-s.” Quick to cut off his train of thought, you set your mug aside and reached out to take his hand. “It’s okay to worry, but I’m pretty sure they enjoyed the coffee. There’s no place around that’s any better, you know!”

“… You really think so?” He stared at you, looking a little reluctant to believe you.

“Yeah!” You beamed, gently squeezing his hand in what you hoped was a reassuring manner. “Why would I bother coming in each day if I didn’t like what you serve? I’m pretty sure humans are only worried about your monster patrons.”

At the mention of monster-human relations, Hol seemed to deflate a little bit. “…Yeah. You’re probably right.” Oops. You were about to launch into a lecture about how it was a (mostly) irrational fear and was already looking much better nowadays when the bell at the door rung, Hollander hurriedly skittering away to serve the new customer.

Mentally noting to talk to him about it later, you pull your feet up onto the couch and turn to gaze outside the window. Water-heavy clouds were slowly drifting overhead; the sky was probably preparing to rain soon. A short search through your work bag proved that you didn’t possess the foresight to pack an umbrella. Drat, you weren’t in the mood to walk around wet today. Maybe you could leave the café early to run home and grab one? It wouldn’t take that long. You took a thoughtful sip from the now lukewarm mug, tapping your fingers gently against the ceramic.

Sure, why not? You could stand being late for once.

Finishing off your cocoa and leaving a hasty note and tip behind on the side table, you glanced at the time on your phone. Thirty spare minutes to get home and then back, plenty of time. You tossed a smile and a wave over your shoulder for Hollander as you exited, hoisting your bag a bit higher.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no grillby this chapter, but that's just because i gotta do that dumb thing where i type a lot and get nowhere first  
> next chapter should b coming out soon, i already have half of it typed out
> 
> thanks for reading! melancholarie.tumblr.com


	2. about our SOULs, yours and mine

You were incredibly thankful you decided to run back and fetch an umbrella. By the time work was just about over, a glance out the window showed that the clouds had long since begun to leak, skies grey and bleary in a manner that wasn’t all too pleasant. In fact, something about looking up at the rain cascading down on the rooftops made your SOUL twinge with a hint of… despair? Dread? You weren’t entirely sure, but it hurt a little.

Pushing that thought aside, you decided to focus more on not letting the harsh wind blow your hard-earned umbrella out of your grip. A quiet evening alone was probably all that lay in store for you, from the looks of it. And that was fine- there was a small bookstore on the way home that you wanted to check out; and there was nothing quite like cozying up in a pile of blankets and reading while it’s storming out.

Hurrying your way downtown, you can’t help but observe how the traffic almost instantly thins out the moment you reach the zone that’s sort of in-between the human and monster-populated regions. Not seeing many humans out and about around here wasn’t surprising, no, but the distinct lack of monsters bustling about made everything feel a bit wrong.

You brush it off as the hanging plaque of the bookstore grows nearer, they probably just ended up surprised by the rain and were already tucked away in order to stay warm and dry. Something you envied a little, seeing as how the wind had picked up and gotten the bottom of your pants moderately damp.

Tinkling gently, the bell raised above the store’s entrance announced your arrival as you slipped inside; closing and setting your umbrella besides the door. Taking a look around, you noted that it wasn’t too empty- some patrons lazily floating around the bookshelves, probably enjoying the lack of rain- but not nearly as full as you would expect. Well, you couldn’t complain. It was nice to have a little more elbow room between the narrow rows of shelving.

You subconsciously readjust your bag as you sidle into the fiction section, glancing up and down the shelves for anything that caught your eye. An adventure sounded nice, something thrilling and magical to really complement the mood outside. Your eyes began to flick through the assortment of titles, looking for anything that’d seem interesting.

However, while looking at the books, you severely neglected to look where you were going, consequently bowling over a short skeleton who had been investigating the sci-fi section.

“oof.”

You instantly scramble back, eyes wide. “Oh my gosh? I am so, _so_ sorry, I wasn’t watching out, are you alright?”

The skeleton doesn’t respond, eyes blank. Did you accidentally hurt him? You’ve already opened your mouth to say something else when he clears his nonexistent throat and sits up, small eyelights reappearing shortly after.

“when is a green book not a green book?” He turns to get a better look at you.

Whatever you were planning on saying before dies in your throat as you attempt to process his words. “…. Um?”

He props himself up further, hands behind his back. ”um,” he copies your dumbfounded expression. “i said, when is a green book not a green book?”

Where is he going with this? “…I don’t know, when?”

“when it’s being _read_.”

When it’s being read? When it- oh. _Red._ You can already feel a silly grin make its way onto your face.

“That was terrible.” You tease, chuckling lightly.

“no, it was great.” His own grin widens in response, clearly pleased by your reaction.

“You aren’t very funny.”

“you’re right, im hilarious.”

“Well, it’s most certainly a pleasure to meet you, Hilarious.” You’re the first to introduce yourself, saying your name and sticking out your hand. His cocky smirk instantly drops when he realizes he fell for your verbal trap, trying to frown up at you.

“ha ha, oldest joke in the book.” He’s smiling now, though! “i’m sans. sans the skeleton.” He accepts your hand, swiftly pulling himself up to his feet as you smile back at him.

There’s a book on the ground. Did he drop it? You lean down to pick it up.

“oh, hey, um, that’s mine, i’ll just take that back-“

It’s too late, you’ve already turned it over in your hand to look at the front cover.

“Romance from Planet Zanith: Forbidden Love Between Alien and Man,” you read aloud.

His face goes slightly blue. “l-look here, i-“

“SANS! THERE YOU ARE!” Another skeleton manages to squish himself into the same aisle as you two, heading directly towards Sans. “PLEASE TELL ME BEFORE YOU GO RUNNING OFF LIKE- OH. WHO’S THIS?”

Wow. He is _tall_. You hold out your hand that isn’t currently preoccupied. “Uh, hi?”

“HELLO, BOOK HUMAN! I AM THE GREAT AND FORMIDABLE PAPYRUS!” He completely ignores your offered hand in favor of striking a pose, bony elbows bumping into the shelf opposite from you.

“It’s… good to meet you, The Great and Formidable Papyrus?” You slowly retreated your hand, opting to tuck it into your pocket.

“just call him papyrus. he alters his title every week or so.” Sans helpfully supplies.

“Excuse me if this is insensitive, but are you two… related?” You ask hesitantly, looking between the two. Sure, they look pretty different- Sans is short and stubby, while Papyrus is much taller and lanky- but they’re both distinctly… skeletal. Not to mention their… _names_.

“it’s okay, we’re brothers. isn’t he cool?” Sans reaches up to snatch his book back while you’re still disoriented.

“…Very. Definitely one of the coolest people I’ve met.” You clear your throat, nodding up at Papyrus surely.

“YES! WELL.” He fiddles with his scarf, seemingly unused to the praise. “IT IS ABOUT TIME FOR US TO BE GOING NOW. COME, SANS!”

“see ya around, pal.” Sans salutes back at you as he walks off, following Papyrus to the register.

You watch the pair leave before turning back to the bookshelf, sparing a glance for the sci-fi romance section. Hmm.

 

You exit the bookstore, new purchases already tucked away as you hurry to reopen your umbrella. The rain, while having let up considerably, was still continuing to fall at a drenching pace; and while the walk home wasn’t that far you just weren’t in the mood to dry off afterwards.

Absolutely all traces of life seemed to be absent from the streets, no monsters nor humans besides yourself to be seen. The only sound to accompany you was the gentle pitter-pat of the rain overhead and the light splashing of puddles underfoot. Not that you were complaining, no- the skeleton brothers were fun, sure, but you had always found solace in quiet solitude like this.

You shook out your umbrella and closed it, slipping a rain cover on top as you stepped inside the lobby of your apartment building.

One of the only complexes built in the area where monsters and humans overlapped, this was your safe haven from conflict. All humans who lived inside were _overwhelmingly_ pro-monster like yourself, and all the monsters you’d met thus far were more than friendly. As a result, the managers often threw extravagant parties or celebrations for human and monster holidays alike in the meeting rooms for inhabitants to encourage communal bonding. And they worked, of course; you had simply never elected to participate in any. Your neighbors were nice enough, sure, but you would be much more comfortable if you had at least one solid friend you could rely on to help pull you out of any sticky situations that arose.

You waved a greeting to the receptionist on your way to the elevators, stepping inside and pressing the button to the third floor. There were posters for said previously mentioned parties plastered across the corkboard inside, advertising both a Thanksgiving banquet and a Halloween masquerade. Seems like there weren’t many autumnal-based holidays in the Underground, so they were all human this time. Possibly because monsters didn’t have a region that correlated with fall?

The elevator doors pinged sharply, punctuating your exit as you quickly stepped out and made your way down the hall. Maybe you should show up to at least one? See what they were like? You toyed with the idea in your head as you unlocked your door, setting your bag onto the table next to you. They did allow guests; so you could always just ask a friend to come with. Meeting the skeletons today had simply reminded you of how quickly you reverted after quitting the frantic search for your soulmate thing, when _was_ the last time you went out just to be social, anyways?

Deciding to think about it later, you finally stepped out of the doorway, shutting and locking it behind you. Mental note: text some of your monster friends about coming with you before you go to sleep. Tonight, you planned to do nothing more than to curl up on the couch with one of your new books and read about what it was like to have an alien for a soulmate in the 1970s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the feedback, it's pretty much what keeps me going ( ´･◡･)  
> still no grillby, but he's definitely appearing next chapter. (゜ロ゜)
> 
> does anyone else like to buy really old sci-fi romance novels?
> 
> thanks for reading! melancholarie.tumblr.com


	3. for whenever you're around

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i felt like the first two chapters were short so hopefully this makes up for it ( ｀ωﾟ)ﾉ ☆
> 
> oh, and a warning! in this one, the points of view tend to switch around a lot. the sections are all spaced out from each other and marked with a little line. if it's still confusing, please let me know and ill come up with something else!

Your subconscious slowly filtered into the world of the living, bits and pieces of you flowing down from a nonexistent dreamland. It was still fairly dim outside, but your room seemed impossibly bright as you drowsily blinked awake.

Rolling over onto your side, you gently pushed aside the comforter to blindly fumble for your phone. 5:50, a little bit earlier than you normally got up, but that’s okay. You allowed yourself an extra few moments to greedily indulge in your bed’s warmth before extracting yourself from the covers, pulling your feet over the edge and sitting up sleepily.

Time for another day.

  

 ________

Grillby was already awake, silently brushing through his kitchen. Yesterday’s storm had caught him by surprise, and as a consequence he hadn’t been able to restock to the extent he’d like to. So today he made the decision to arrive earlier than usual, to make up for yesterday- there is always so much to do, and not being able to accomplish certain things purely because of who he _was_ made him feel… strange. He couldn’t put a label on it.

In fact, ever since he’d fully moved to the surface, he had been feeling very odd indeed. But yesterday…

Heading outside only to be greeted with the sudden downpour had filled him with the usual frustration, yes, but when his SOUL suddenly began to gently push all the pressing agitation away and replace it with a smooth, quiet contentedness… Yes, that threw him off quite a bit.

When _had_ things started to feel this way? He paused to look down at the bottle he had stopped on, turning it around in his hand before neatly sliding it back into place on the shelf.

 

 ________

You didn’t trust the sky today, no sir. It just looked suspicious. You decided to bring along your umbrella along today, too, just in case.

You worked a later shift today, so you didn’t bother taking along your work bag. Double-checking yourself as soon as you left the lobby- yep, wallet and keys in your back pocket- you tapped the umbrella along the smooth sidewalk on your way to the café, humming softly. It was barely light out, the sun still hadn’t risen yet, though many of the small monster-run businesses were already awake and ready to start the day. Their hardworking attitude was certainly something to be admired.

You pulled into the mostly empty café, taking a deep breath and savoring the scent of freshly ground coffee beans that constantly seemed to permeate the air.

“Morning!” Hollander called out from the back, where he was bustling around- probably still setting up. “I’ll be with you in a second!”

Rocking back and forth on your heels as you waited at the counter, you took a good look around. You were probably one of the earliest of Holl’s customers, though the gecko monster had mentioned some others who were known to come by as soon as he opened. You assumed the few monsters scattered around the place were the aforementioned early bird patrons, part of you glad to see that the hardworking lizard still had plenty of business despite the reluctance of most humans to come inside.

“You’re early today!” You jumped slightly, not having noticed Hollander moving to at the counter.

“Yeah, I just couldn’t get back to sleep and decided to join the early bird crowd.”

Hollander nodded in understanding. “The usual, then?”

“Please. Oh, and a muffin, if you would.”

 

 ________

To Grillby’s tremendous satisfaction, he had finished taking stock earlier than anticipated. Perhaps he could spare some time to even go out today before the bar opened. Ever since he opened up an above-ground location, his bar seemed to take away most (if not all) of his spare time. After all, he noted with a proud crackle, it seemed to be one of the only monster-run businesses that humans routinely set foot inside. He could only hope that his bar would continue to encourage the spread of human support; if they could _warm up_ to the idea of a being composed of literal fire serving them drinks, then surely they could stand to buy ice cream from a rabbit or haggle over market prices with a turtle.

He made up his mind- he’d definitely go out today. Walk around, maybe catch up with the local business owners, enjoy the day before coming back in time to open up the bar. It had most certainly been a while since he had a true day to relax; last time he took a day off, it was spent searching for a better apartment.

Grabbing a nice-looking (yet completely unnecessary) jacket, he pulled it over his shoulders and got ready to head back out.

 

________

You had abandoned your usual couch in favor of eating at a table and not dumping crumbs everywhere. Besides, it was a much nicer vantage point to sit and people-watch, sitting right next to the entrance allowed a clearer view of the sidewalk opposite the café. The variety of passerby never seemed to lose its charm, especially with monsters around- once you had seen a large, bipedal dog! And not like a small dog, either, it was _big_! You propped up your chin with a hand, idly sipping at your drink of the day. Really big dogs, regardless of varying degrees of sentience, were always amusing.

The sun had long since peeked over the horizon, and was now sitting cheerily in the sky. Not that it made you trust it any more, nope. The distant grey you could barely make out in the distance seemed to be supporting your hunch- it was most likely going to rain again today.

A rustle of movement caught your wandering thoughts as Hollander pulled out a chair and sat down at your table, eager to discuss. You were slightly surprised he didn’t hover around for a few moments beforehand, clearly something great must’ve happened to cause him to push aside his insecurity like that.

“Mind if I sit with you for a bit? Back’s killing me,” he laughed playfully.

You lean back, folding your arms onto the table in front of you. “Of course I don’t mind. What’s up? I can tell you’re in a really good mood today!” He looked a little sheepish at that, reaching up to place a hand on his cheek.

“You know that human I was worried about the other day?” He turned back to meet your gaze steadily. “They came back.”

 

________

Why did he think it was a good idea to go out walking, oh stars above why did he decide to foolishly wander about _so_ blindly, playing no attention at all to the gradually darkening sky above? Argh. All he could do would be to turn back for his bar now, and hope he made it before it began to rain heavily. Though, knowing his luck, he’d barely get a block before it started. His chest panged, heavy with irritation. He always got a bit dramatic when it came to things like this.

It would be a different story if he was closer to the monster-populated region, monsters would be much more welcoming if he needed to duck inside during a rainy spell. Humans, on the other hand, tended to be much more suspicious with things like this; always thinking of themselves and their business first. But, salty as he was, he could understand why they would choose to be so wary- living on the surface just for a few years had explained much, much more than he could’ve expected. Some humans were just so corrupt and greedy, SOULs having long since made the decision to forgo loving one another in favor of power and money.

Of course, they weren’t all like that. He spared a moment to wonder about his own SOUL; which had simply settled down from the moment he first established his bar, something he ended up being a little grateful for as more and more soul-tied lovers became established as soon as they were all herded into the underground. Others would have grown jealous at all the good fortune, their own SOULs painfully missing their mate.

Would he end up like the humans, having to sate his SOUL with tedious work for the rest of his life?

 

 ________

“What do you mean, they came back? What happened? Give me details, man, details!” You leaned forward eagerly, eyes wide with childish curiosity.

Hollander responded with a light laugh, crossing his legs and settling down. “Okay, well, I wasn’t really expecting to see her face again- especially the day after she first showed up, right? But there I was, two hours before closing, and she’s right out there- with friends! Laughing and talking and, well, having a good time!” He closes his eyes, reminiscing. “I was so confused! They didn’t seem like they had any malicious intent, but you can never be too sure about these sort of things, so I took their order and kept an eye on them. Maybe listened in a little bit, of course, but they were perfectly innocuous- just ate and drank and chatted.”

You hummed, propping yourself back up with a hand. “And?”

“And? Um, well, they left a very generous tip, _and_ the first human went out of her way to tell me how much she loved the place! Not even in a sarcastic way, like last time!”

“Last time?” You butt in, full of sudden concern. Your SOUL seems to agree, panging with a indistinctly bothered feeling.

“It was so nice to see them mingling with monsters.” He smoothly deflects, sighing pleasantly. “So, so nice. I hope they tell their friends about the place. I guess times are really changing, y’know? Right now, here in front of us.”

“I’m glad. It’s about time, too.” You let him get away with changing the topic, making a note to ask him about it later. “You’d think that we wouldn’t hold a light to some silly prejudices, but unfortunately some people have.”

“Well, I’ve heard that some people have already been wandering into the monster zones.” He chuckled. “They’ve been visiting popular _hot spots_ like Grillby’s. Once they find something they like, whoever’s giving it to them suddenly doesn’t seem to matter all that much anymore.”

“Grillby’s?” You question, genuinely curious. If it was such a popular destination, why hadn’t you, a human who spent half their time wandering around monster settlements, ever heard of it?

“Yeah, Grillby’s. It’s a neat little bar, used to be quite the popular place in the Underground. It was unfortunate that I never really checked it out, but seeing as how it was in Snowdin and I’m a reptile…” Hollander rolled his eyes. “Too cold. I greatly preferred the capital, but the only popular attraction the Hotlands had besides the MTT Resort was this never ending bake sale for spiders.”

Well, that successfully grabbed your attention. “For spiders?”

“All the profits went to the spiders,” he clarified. “Of course, the pastries themselves were made by spiders, of spiders, for spiders.”

“By spiders, of spiders, for spiders.” You echoed, delicately arching an eyebrow.

“Yep. Spiders.” Hollander repeats, as if it was perfectly normal.

Semantic satiation has seized the word spiders from you, transforming it into a jumble of miscellaneous mish mashed syllables; so you elect to change the subject. “…Spiders. Alright then, I’m sorry I asked.”

 

________

Grillby peered out from underneath the tarp he had been forced to take shelter under, passive-aggressively staring down the rain. Exactly as he’d predicted, he had barely made it half-way back to his bar when _this_ started. He was only lucky that he had barely entered the human-monster zone, perhaps if he had time to bolt in between the next sudden downpour he could take shelter inside of a friendly shop. He could slowly work his way back home, sure, but he most certainly couldn’t let himself get away with doing something so stupidly risky again.

Yet he couldn’t really find it in himself to be upset at all. He just stood there, quietly lamenting the lack of any nearby monster businesses, yet still in a sort of… vaguely pleasant mood? As if his SOUL was perfectly content with spending who knows how long trapped under a tiny leaking canvas tarp.

Maybe he should see somebody about it. There was no way that this could be normal, to have such conflicting thoughts and feelings- almost foreign to himself.

He quietly thanked the fact that it seemed like it was going to lighten up soon, or else he’d end up having to face closing the bar early.

 

________

“…still haven’t gone there, unfortunately. Wonder what it’s like, but I’m not much of a drinker.”  
You’ve long since tuned out of the one-sided conversation, watching the rain outside patter while letting Hollander babble happily about who knows what. He was rarely this talkative, something about it was a little heartwarming to witness. In fact, it almost seemed as if your SOUL was getting increasingly excited, your heart race picking up uncomfortably higher and higher until-

You were acutely aware of the café door opening, for some reason.

“Speak of the devil!” Hollander sat up, looking a little awestruck.

 

“Hey, Grillby! Fancy seeing you here!”

 

________

To Grillby’s mild surprise, he was enthusiastically greeted the moment he stepped inside the small café; the owner bounding up to head over towards the counter. He faintly recalled meeting him before… what was his name again?

“What brings you here this early in the day?”

Something with an H, definitely. H…H…Harvey? No, that wasn’t it. H…

“…Uh, Grillby?”

Oh, right, conversation. Lowering his head in apology, he glanced back up at the other and waved a hand, prompting him to repeat what he had said before.

“Oh, ha… Nothing, just. Um. You’re never around... anywhere… this early?” The gecko repeated, much more hesitant this time.

He shrugged, before indicating at the falling rain outside.

“Oh… OH! Goodness! Are you alright? You’re more than welcome to hang around; I mean…”

 

________

Why did your SOUL start to ache all of a sudden?

You twist around uncomfortably in your chair to see who Hollander had practically leaped up to greet. A good friend of his, maybe?

Well, it’s most certainly nobody you recognize right away. A fire monster in a humanoid form is standing in front of the lizard, vaguely nodding along every once or so.

“H-Hey, this is the owner of the bar I told you about earlier!” Holl, noticing your curiosity, eagerly waves you over. You decide to join them, smiling and nodding at the other monster awkwardly. Was he nonverbal? You don’t think you’ve heard him say a single thing so far, not even a hello.

Hollander does a fairly good job of introducing you to Grillby before realizing he’s on the wrong side of the counter, hurrying back.

“Um! Would you like anything while waiting out the rain? It’s on the house.” He tentatively asks, leaning one arm against the countertop.

Grillby looks at you and you stare back, thoughts still bouncing around without restraint.

He’s very pretty. Your chest is uncomfortably tight. Hollander really wants him to try one of his drinks, to see what he thinks of his café and his cooking. He _really_ is overwhelmingly beautiful. You could easily get lost in the way his flames seem to dance along one another, the changing of colors across his face as…

As… as he continues to look at you as if asking you a wordless question, and you still haven’t responded.

You still haven’t responded?

Oh heavens, you still haven’t responded! What if he thinks you’re a weirdo, silently staring at him, and he technically wouldn’t really be entirely wrong and, and, and…!!

Working through the panic and the strangely constricting sensation in your chest, you manage to choke out a spluttered response.

“Tea??”

Wait, you can’t just say that!

“U-Um, I mean, I’d recommend the house tea, it’s, uh, quite good.”

Smooth. Really smooth.

There’s a dead silence as Hollander stares at you, agape. This might actually be an all new low for you? You wonder if it’s possible to literally melt into a puddle of embarrassment, or if it’s purely an idiom.

But then Grillby’s _crackling,_ quite loudly too, in a way that you immediately decide resembles laughter, bringing a hand up in an attempt to cover his lightening face as his shoulders rise and fall with mirth; and you don’t think you can fully remember how to breathe as his flames flicker wildly, stretching slight shadows across the countertop.

 

The tightly-knit hole in your chest almost instantly fades away, replacing itself with happiness of the purest sort.

 

And you don’t really notice, because suddenly you’re laughing too, and Hollander joins in at some point; and the three of you are all simply losing yourselves in a wonderful bundle of warmth and joy that contrasts the grey, stormy sky in the loveliest manner.

 

________

He’s a little bit proud of how he didn’t flinch this time. Sure, it’s only been a few years since he found out his soulmate’s words- the technology having been invented while they were all still Underground- and honestly, he was moderately upset when he found out his was but a single word- _“tea,”_ and was in a terrible mood for the rest of the week simply because he was good friends with _Asgore._

But he quickly got over it, of course. He had other things to focus on, things he couldn’t throw aside simply because he got a little fussy over some silly word. He didn’t need to seek out a soulmate before, and he most certainly didn’t need to seek out a soulmate now.

It still hurt a little whenever one of his earlier patrons ordered asked for a cuppa from the bar, though.

 

________

To your great amusement, Grillby does end up ordering some tea in the end. He sits across from you quietly as you stare off into space, watching his reflected light dance across the smooth glass of the window pane. Hollander stops by whenever he has nothing else to do, chatting about this and that. (Particularly his new human customers, he’s _painfully_ proud of them. Grillby seems to empathize with him.) There’s something that’s incredibly calming about having him so close to you, no wonder he’s a fantastic bartender.

When the rain lets up, he leaves as quietly as he came; leaving behind only a tip and a neatly written note for Hollander about how the tea was ‘really quite wonderful, thank you.’

 

(Hollander practically _squeals_ when he sees it, stuttering in disbelief about “oh my gosh, he thought my drink was nice?? he liked it! _do you know what this means???_ ")

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> grillb's an edgelord comfrimed. all of his passages are rly edgy but i mean a lot of stuff's bothering him right now so bear with me  
> [grillbz is holl's senpai probably](http://i.imgur.com/6EF6tIg.png)  
> thanks for reading! melancholarie.tumblr.com
> 
> postscript: i kinda feel like it might be initially misinterpreted that reader has given up entirely on finding their soulmate. im not sure if this helps clear things up, but... you just stopped being overenthusiastic about it. figured you should let fate do the finding for you instead of trying to rush things in case u messed something up. you haven't thrown everything out the window to be all "blargh margh soulmates are dumb and stupid"  
>  ~~poor, _poor_ grillby, on the other hand...~~


	4. i go a little asinine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> argha rhagh this took a while im so sorry... its not that good but its something at least???

You trudged home from work, shoulders heavy with a somewhat pleasant weariness. Despite having taken a shorter shift today, you felt drained- but you weren’t one to complain! Sure, it most certainly didn’t seem that nice when you were trying to stumble home; but after washing up and flopping into bed? The practically instant relief from your sore back and aching feet- that was something to be appreciated.

As you stepped into the elevator, you noticed a new addition to the corkboard- a note lay pinned to the ‘Thanksgiving’ flier, jagged handwriting as if done in a hurry.

“More volunteers needed to help prepare and serve food – sign in at the front desk by the 24th if able! ♡”

That actually sounded rather appealing. The elevator stopped with a ping and you stepped out, still turning over the newly formed idea in your mind. It was a nice opportunity, one you’d hate to miss- it’d let you mingle with other residents, while also not worrying about getting caught up in anything you’d later regret. Not to mention the countless times you’d silently sworn to participate in these communal celebrations, but ended up backing out at the last moment…

You didn’t notice your neighbor waving at you as you slipped into your apartment, door quietly shutting with a click.

Yes, you firmly decided, nodding absently to yourself. You dug into your pocket to pull out your phone, simultaneously putting your work bag down. It wouldn’t hurt to invite a friend along, too- better safe than sorry, right?

One of your old friends seemed to glint across the screen, but you dismissed the notification with a frown; settling down onto the couch and slowly sinking into the giving cushions. Who to ask, who to ask… a monster would probably be best, right? Though Hollander was certainly out of the question- the cafe was open that morning. Perhaps… You swiped aside, tapping a coworker’s name. You only ever hung out with him during the rare shifts you two shared, and it certainly wouldn’t hurt to spend more time together. The phone rang before you could second-guess yourself.

“… … … Hello?” Burgerpants picked up after the first few rings, sounding a little groggy.

“Hey, BP, you busy?”

“Nah, just,” he paused to sniffle, sounding quite stuffy. “…just a little sick. ‘sup?”

“Sick? Jeez, Bur, I’m sorry, I didn’t-“

“Oh, cut it out.” He huffed, sounding more amused than irritated. “It’s not _nearly_ as bad for us as for humans, I’ll be perfectly well in a day or two. Why’d you call, dude?”

“Just… my complex is having this banquet thing on the 24th, if you’re feeling up to-”

“Woah, hang on. You, being social? Maybe I’m sicker than I thought.” He cut you off again, voice raspy.

“Shut up, it’s not like you’re much better.” You rolled your eyes, though he wasn’t there to see. “You in, or what?”

There was a long pause as he deliberated, the line silent aside from his occasional sniffles. “What ‘this banquet thing’ for, anyways?”

“Human tradition of stuffing yourself silly with friends and family.” You weren’t really an avid celebrator of Thanksgiving, personally, but it was still in good fun.

“And what’s in it for me?”

“Free party, free food. Quality time with yours truly.”

“Drop that last thing and maybe I’ll consider it,” He laughed breathily, before interrupted by a coughing fit.

“Mean!” You chided, grinning all the while.

He cleared his throat. “… ‘nyways, the 24th, right? What time?”

“Whenever you feel like showing up? I’m probably going to be volunteering in the morning, so whenever is fine.”

“Mkay.” He cleared his throat. “Toss me the address sometime tomorrow. I’m going to sleep.”

“Goodnight. Hope you feel better tomorrow.” You’re about to end the call, when-

“Oooh, was that sincere concern I heard?” … and as always, he has to have the last word.

“Okay, fine. I take it back, jerk.”

“That’s better. Goodnight.”

You childishly blow a raspberry in response and swiftly hang up, tossing your phone onto the couch cushions. Good ol’ Burgerpants.

An early bedtime wouldn’t hurt, you figured. It had been a long day and you were sufficiently tired.

 

 

_thump. thump._

You shot up with a gasp, hands desperately catching the sheets in a white-knuckled grip. Your heart was pounding, adrenaline coursing through your veins. _What’s going on?_ A quick glance around the room shows that it’s still dark out, probably some ridiculously early hour in the morning. Every fiber of your being pulses with the need to… to… what, exactly?

What woke you?

You press a hand to your chest, taking a deep breath in to try and calm your fluttering SOUL. It doesn’t help much, and you vaguely recall this also happening earlier at the café. Maybe you should see a doctor about it? This couldn’t be normal.

Your chest heaves as you subconsciously slow your breathing. The muted sound of cars driving past simply seem to accentuate how alone you and your thoughts are. A glance at your phone says it’s too early to be awake, but… falling asleep has lost most of its appeal, your excited body and frantic SOUL haven long shook off any lingering drowsiness.

You guide yourself out of bed and into the kitchen to drink something warm and comforting.

Looking down into the still-brewing tea, a foreign, lonely feeling slowly curls in your chest.

 

 

The rest of your day is relatively normal; Hollander’s still in a warm mood, work is still a bit of a pain, the strange feeling continued to weigh your very SOUL down, and the rest of the rain spell seemed to draw to a slow end with only a light drizzle every so often. You return home with tired eyes, sore feet and a text from Burgerpants swearing he’s “totally fine, okay, just couldn’t make it to work today, so quit worrying.”

By the time you’ve curled into bed, your SOUL has calmed itself down into a soothing hum, and you find yourself drifting off again quickly.

 

 

You step into Hollander’s with a smile, which almost instantly drops when you notice the way he’s slouched blearily over the counter. As you draw closer, he fakes a weak smile and straightens up.

“Oh, good morning, wh-“

“Are you okay?” you blurt out without thinking, leaning forward on an arm.

“…Um, yeah, I’m fine.” Hol glances away from you, a clawed hand reaching up to rub the back of his neck.

“Are you sure?”

He simply nods with a sigh, the tip of his tail absently flicking up and down.

Even though he certainly doesn’t seem fine, you figure he’ll probably talk about it if he wants to talk about it- so until then, the best you could do was be there to listen.

You idly eye today’s specials before ordering something thick and sweet. It’s not a chilly morning, but you still decide to indulge your craving for something warm.

You skip your usual spot yet again, electing to linger by the counter in case Hollander wanted to chat. Besides, you felt like… mixing things up, enjoying something different for once. The morning’s warm glow seems a little more dull today, despite the lack of rain. It didn’t feel right at all- but the sudden change in aura was probably just because you were sitting somewhere a less… glamourous.

( _But the other day, it was amazing_ , quietly hums your SOUL, _so bright and warm._ )

The frothy whipped top on your drink is irritatingly clinging to the sides of the cup, and you grab a spoon to scoop it away. All things considered, it’s a fairly peaceful morning, and you easily find yourself daydreaming about this and that as Hol putters around in his workspace. Your SOUL had most certainly been acting strange earlier, hadn’t it? The way it practically screamed in frustration over something you weren’t terribly sure of… that couldn’t be healthy for you. And now, the way it made everything else seem so bleak compared to something only it knew…

Maybe seeing a doctor could help?

The gentle clink of a small glass being set down in front of you interrupts your train of thought, and you glance up at Hollander inquisitively.

“I’m trying to get better at more… chilly drinks, since most of what I work with nowadays is warm.” he explains. “If I can perfect some now, they’ll totally be ready by spring.” You look down at the glass, the thick liquid inside a light purple. “Would you mind sampling this one? I don’t know if the flavors balance each other out correctly.”

The color’s really sort of throwing you off, but you hesitantly bring the glass to your lips anyways. The flavor is startling- a distinctly… floral sort of taste, but smothered in cream and a fruity undertone. It’s not at all what you’d expected, but still delightfully pleasant and refreshing. Hollander is timidly watching you, seemingly awaiting some sort of negative reaction.

“It… tastes kinda like… soap.” You finally deadpan, tilting the glass to swirl the rest of the contents lazily.

“Too much lavender?” Hol flutters nervously, reaching over to take the glass back.

“Is that what it is? I like it. It’s really… unique? Wait, no, that sounds bad. Uh, it’s interesting, and unexpected.” He nods, eyes focused on you in a way that makes you feel a little bashful. “Refreshing- though it does feel a little diluted, maybe you could make it taste more… clean?”

“Maybe some mint would help?” Hollander leans away from you to mess with a small tupperware container filled with green bits.

“Maybe?” You elect to finish off your glass as he carefully begins to recreate the drink. “I dunno, it’s really nice like this. Definitely made for a warmer day, though.”

Hol nods blankly, gaze fixed on his work. “Yeah. I don’t have many customers in the afternoon… figured some cooler options might make this place appealing.”

The glass spins slowly between your fingers, chin perched on your opposite hand as you watched him work. It was clear this was something he loved- the care that practically oozed out of every little drink he made very evident. “Do you ever put magic in your drinks?”

He pauses, shoulders tensing slightly. “… What?”

“Magic. In your drinks. I mean, I’ve heard that food made with magic always tastes better, and-“

“No. I don’t.” He’s startlingly blunt, the subject clearly making him uncomfortable.

You’re about to respond when he turns around, setting down the reconstructed drink in front of you. “Can you try this, see if you like it any better?”

Grumpily giving him A Look™ over the rim of your glass, you sip once again at the light purple liquid. It’s a little bit thicker than last time, and left your mouth feeling… fresh? Clean?

Hollander’s watching you uneasily again, seemingly wary of your reaction. You wonder what happened- it’s such a stark contrast from the Hol you’d seen the previous few days, who was bouncy and excited and… _happy_. This one seemed sad, in a much quieter way.

He seems to notice the way you’re looking at him and shrinks a little bit. “U-Uh, is it… alright?”

You set the glass down firmly. “Okay. Hol, buddy, you’re a real pal to me and an absolute treasure to have around, but… what’s up?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” His frown tightens shakily, shoulders drooping. “I’m fine.”

“Hollander.”

He doesn’t respond, opting to study the spotless countertop.

Heaving a sigh, you gently nudge the glass forward. Time to bring out the big guns.

“I’m your friend, and I won’t make you tell me what’s wrong if you don’t really want to. But I’m your friend, and I want to see you feel better. I’m your friend, and, I’d really like to know _how_ to make you feel better. I mean, past’s gone, right? We should just keep looking towards the future, and how I can help put a happy Hollander into that future.”

Large, sad eyes dart up to look at you with startling clarity. He opens his mouth as if to speak, but closes it. Opens again. Close. He frowns and breathes in smoothly, backing up a little.

“…I’m sorry. Another time.” His voice cracks a little bit, and you deflate a little bit.

Another time. You’d hold him up to that, this was getting rather worrisome now.

“… The drink was nice. I really liked it, the mint definitely helped. It’ll probably be a real hit whenever the weather starts getting warmer.” You slip your napkin to the side, reaching for whatever change’s in your pocket to leave as a tip.

He guiltily takes the glass away and moves off to wash it.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

The gentle tinkling of the bell above the door is the only reply you hear on your way out.

 

You get home feeling… strange. Normally, you’d probably be a little more worked up about how odd Hollander was acting- (was his café being targeted? threatened?)- but a gentle ghost of warmth and reassurance was circling around your chest, a tiresome weight settling down in your limbs.

Washing up quickly, a text from Burgerpants saying he’s all better is the last thing you comprehend before your weary eyelids droop shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry i've been busy!! fall semester's started for me nd i've been working as a coauthor on a good handful o stuff  
> luckily i have snippets of other chapters here already written out so maaybe i'll actually get a regular pace up for this fic


	5. [placeholder]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this isn't very polished, sorry. ill edit it later maybe probably

Your alarm beeps angrily at you as you burrow deeper into the mess of blankets tangling your bed and groan. Ugghhh. The sound is a siren screeching into your ears, taunting you out from the tempting idea to try and go back to sleep. A single hand snakes out to grab your phone, tapping to silence the alarm before falling limp over the edge of the bed.

Well, time to get up.

You shuffle out from the covers; right foot, left. The soft carpet against your bare feet is nice, so you trudge particularly slowly to savor the sensation before stepping against the morning-chilled floor of the hallway.

A long shower later, you’re propped up in your little kitchen with a steaming cup of cocoa, wet hair dripping down against the countertop. Today had been a day for sleeping in, no work and no usual stop at Hollander’s; and waking up just didn’t seem to want to happen any time soon.

You take a small sip, nose scrunching up as it burns your tongue. In about an hour, you’d have to head down and sign in as a volunteer for the banquet. Now would be about the time that you’d talk yourself out of this, but no; you had invited Burgerpants and now had an actual obligation to show up. You blow gently against the hot liquid, sipping again as you wonder what else needs to be done before you left.

Cleaning up wasn’t an option, your apartment already spotless. Internet would get you distracted for too long, and there weren’t any friends to chat with this early in the morning.

You hum slowly and take another sip, eyeing the lone book sitting out on the table. It had been the one you’d purchased on the day you met Sans and his brother, one of those cheesy sci-fi ones about some beefy male main character with a bunch of attractive ladies throwing themselves at him for literally no reason. You hadn’t finished it yet, and, well, with time to spare…

Ah, why not?

  

  ____

 

 You start slightly as the alarm on your phone went off, still nose-deep in the novel. Was it already time to get going? Man, and the supporting cast was about to reveal their secret connection to their home planet Xanthor…

After setting the book aside and pulling on a nicer shirt, you finally leave your apartment for the day. Just now leaving at such a (relatively) late hour is a little disorienting, none of the usual regulars you see heading back and forth are floating about.

You notice someone else in the elevator as you approach it, a tired looking man standing near the back corner. He smiles tensely at you and you politely return it, tapping the lobby button and scooting closer to the other side. He seems to be humming a tune under his breath, something catchy and familiar. Maybe you’ve heard it from that TV show that always seemed to be on around here? Some faint image of metallic thighs and flamboyant eyes linger in your mind before you dismiss it, it’s not really that important.

The ride is otherwise silent; and you both step out at the bottom and go your separate ways, the man heading towards one of the meeting rooms while you approach the receptionist’s desk.

The receptionist looks up at you over his glasses, tapping his manicured fingers against the smooth wood. “May I help you today?”

“Oh, uh…” You suddenly feel a lot less sure of yourself, shifting from foot to foot. “I’m here to… help volunteer? I-I mean, for that banquet today?” The moment you’ve spoken; you regret the way it comes out sounding more like a question than a statement.

 “Oh! Well, that’s great to hear!” He smiles warmly at you, leaning down under the desk to pull out a drawer. “Is it your first time volunteering here, or do you have any past experience with us?”

“Uh, it’s my first time.” His smile sort of bothers you- it’s fake, but cheery… too strained.

“That’s fine, we can always use more help! You’ll need to fill out some of these- just a bunch of liability and safety stuff, nothing too crazy- and then sign up for a position on the piece of paper, near the catering kitchen. If you follow the hallway on the left, right across from the main room, there should be a set of grey doors- just buzz and Pino will let you in.” He holds out the required forms and a pen, the unsettling smile still plastered across his face.

You accept the papers and sit down onto a couch to work on them, absently chewing on the cap of your pen. It takes a while to meticulously fill in all of your emergency contacts, but you finish soon enough and leave them on his desk.

Buzzing in at the door, a neatly groomed cockatoo-looking bird monster greets you with a smile. “Hey there, I’m Pino- you must be a volunteer, right?”

“Ah, yes, I am!” You accept their handshake, trying not to sound as nervous as you really are. “I’m here to help, uh... prepare food. I think.”

“Thank goodness,” Pino sighs, feathers puffing up with relief. “So many people show up to help decorate- which is lovely, yes- but so far, we’ve only gotten a few caterers… Do you have any experience?” Their head tilts inquisitively, eyes wide with childish curiosity.

“I guess I’d call myself more of a baker, to be honest…” The way Pino’s looking at you makes you suddenly bashful, cheeks warming slightly as you rub the back of your neck. “My cooking abilities are a somewhat… limited. I’m no professional, of course! More of a hobby…”

“Perfect!” They squawk, reaching around to grab a clipboard that was pinned to the wall. “Now, if you could sign in here under desserts, I’d like you to…”

 

You’re set to a series of designated tasks, working on various pastries near the back of the catering room. Luckily for you, the flaked crust and everything had already been pre-mixed, so all you had to do was pipe out frosting, fold, and plate it all. Pipe, fold, plate. Once you’ve fit them all onto a tray, slide it off to the side. It’s a lovely sort of repetitive work that you easily get lost in, the mindless droll settling down after a little while. It’s pretty peaceful, at least, until you were interrupted by your phone buzzing angrily in your pocket- somebody’s calling.

Setting down the unfinished tray, you step to the side and pull out your phone. It’s Burgerpants. You head over to the back exit and then outside, tapping the screen to pick up.

“Hello?” He sounds sort of muffled, or maybe just tired? He did have an extra shift yesterday…

“Hey, BP. What’s up, you alright?”

“Just checkin’ in with ya- are we still on for the food thing today, dude? You never really, uh, told me what time to show up.” You pause and take a look at the clock on your phone, eyebrows raised. Lunchtime won’t really be for another hour or so, surprisingly.

“Yeah, yeah it’s still on. You can just show up whenever you’re hungry, really. It’s an all-day thing, so no pressure to come anytime soon.”

“Cool, cool. And you’re sticking around for the whole thing?”

“Yeah… actually, I’m volunteering right now, so can I call you back later? Or just text me, I don’t think I should be talking at the moment.” You begin inching back towards the door, phone still pressed close to your ear. “You can give me a heads up whenever you’re leaving- you do have the address, right? I can send it to you again.”

Switching around the phone to your other hand, you wipe your damp hand on the apron tied snugly around your waist and use your backside to push the door open; starting to turn as you take a step inside and-

You stumble over somebody and instantly lose your balance, toppling sideways as your phone slips out from your grasp; the world a confusing whirl as warm hands tightly wrap your waist.

The sound of the phone clattering against the tiled kitchen floor sounds much further away as your feet helplessly strike out towards the ground, your actions yet to catch up with your mind. You aren’t falling anymore, something- no, someone- caught…

Someone…

Caught…

Your eyes had been open the entire time, but it’s only now that you really see, that you comprehend; the tense, flaming figure now worriedly facing you, his hands wound steadily around your waist, keeping you upright (albeit at a bit of an awkward angle.)

A chorus of angels seem to flow from your SOUL to your ears, blood rising to your slowly-warming face.

“O-Oh, ah, haha, sorry, uh,” Gosh, what was his name again? You fumble for words in your embarrassment. “Grillby! I, didn’t notice you there, um- haha, I…” Fumbling for words as you jolt back around to stand on your own, tugging at your collar nervously.

Grillby just looks at you, flames crackling nonchalantly. He’s as impeccable as ever, perfect white apron tied neatly over a freshly ironed shirt- a stark contrast from your rumpled, frosting-smeared apron and wrinkled shirt sleeves. You don’t know what to do, and somehow the silence sounds worse than nails on a chalkboard. Assured of your ability to stand independently, his hands gradually pull away from where they rested on your hips, and you resist the urge to shiver as the chill from outside returns.

“Uh…” You clear your throat, willing the warmth in your cheeks back down. “What are you doing here?”

He stares silently at you, and you mentally slap yourself- stick to yes or no questions, dangit. “I-I mean… are you here to volunteer?”

Not missing a beat, Grillby nods, before pointing back towards another counter dotted with pots and pans.

“Cool… cool.” The silence is back again, weighing down the air before. “Well! I’m, going to uh. Get back to work now. Yep. Sorry for bumping into you…” Why is everything so awkward? You’re normally perfectly fine with this sort of thing. Your SOUL feels like it’s going to burst.

After a moment, you decide to extract yourself from the situation, scooting around him to head back to your workspace and picking up the discarded piping bag.

He seems to watch you for a moment, curiously, before following your lead and heading back to his designated area. While you worked on dessert, you noticed, he seemed to be cooking proper food. It’s a little bit fascinating, and you deliberately move as slow as possible as you lean down to pick up your phone to watch him work.

He’s sparking, crackling, controlled, but powerful; flames leaping from his hands to the stovetop, as pots begin bubbling away once more. You can practically feel your jaw drop as he rapidly brings a pot of water to a steady boil, settling it onto another burner before swiftly sliding a tray of garlic bread into the top oven beside him- not burning a single thing!

It’s awe inspiring, this demonstration of self-control, and it sets your SOUL into a happy, almost content warmth for some obscure reason. Your mind, on the other hand, drifts, and you find yourself wondering about monster food and magic- at least, until the oven alarm beeps and you jolt back into place, back turned to the fire monster and gaze fixed on your unfinished tray on the counter.

Time to get to work.

 

____

 

Your phone buzzes as you’re finishing up your seventh tray, certainly a welcome interruption from your work. It’s Bur, texting to let you know that he’s almost there, and would appreciate it if you came over to say hello.

Tucking your phone back into your pocket, you carry your last tray over to the large glass refrigerators, offhandedly noting that Grillby has already vanished, his station empty as you pass by.

You close the fridge door. “Hey, Pino, I’m going to take a break now.” The monster’s loitering around at the end of the room, looking a little anxious.

“About time!” They playfully huff, squinting as they glance over at you. “The party’s meant for you too, you know. Socializing. Eating. Can’t stay cramped in here all the time!”

Humming in agreement, you untie the apron and toss it onto a fold-up table labeled ‘MESSY APRONS.’ “Helping out is fun too, though. See you later, Pino!”

They raise a wing over their shoulder in dismissal, attention focused on the lines of food waiting to be brought out.

 

You slide out into the main lobby, having to weave through the groups of people packed together between the meeting rooms. Burgerpants is waiting for you, awkwardly lingering by the glass doors and tapping away on his phone; which he slips back into his pocket as you approach him.

“Hey, Bur!”

“You’re late.”

“I had to sign out, jerk.” You swat at his arm before linking yourselves together, pulling him over towards the nearest meeting room. “Volunteer junk. Could’ve given me a little more warning.”

He falls into place alongside you with matching strides, nose scrunched up. “I gave you plenty! You made me wait for food. I could’ve starved to death!”

His dramatics make you laugh. “Well, I haven’t eaten anything either. But it all looks really good, so don’t worry- it’ll be worth it.”

The first two rooms are practically stuffed full of people and monsters, loudly laughing and having a good time, so you elect to linger around in the less crowded rooms. The food’s good, and the company is a little stifling but nice enough; you find yourself having a nice time after chatting around for a bit.

It’s only after you find yourself seeking an outlet from this chatty bunny monster- no offense, of course, she simply kept trying to force a political debate to get going- that you notice that your coworker hasn’t been at your side for the last twenty minutes. Looking around slightly, you notice him lingering uneasily by one of the food tables, staring into nothingness; so you swiftly excuse yourself from the conversation and hurry over to his side.

He looks alright, but his gaze is unfocused, drifting over air. You tap his forearm gently. “Bur?”

Burgerpants starts a bit, and you can practically taste the whiplash as he jerks around to gape at you, as if appearing from nowhere.

“Oh no. Are you still sick? Do you feel well?”

“No! No, no. I’m fine. Just, uhh… hunting down some more snacks.” He reaches down to pluck up some sort of dumpling out from the nearest bowl and popping it into his mouth.

“I’m not one to judge, but… but this isn’t very snack-y.” You follow suit, taking a bite and feeling a little overwhelmed. It’s distinctly ravioli, but the flavors seem to be alive, snapping and swirling. You grab another pasta, hesitating as the ‘tingles’ fade on your tongue. “Dude. Woah. I take that back.” You eat the second one. “Is this like monster food or something? This is wack.”

“Don’t say wack.”

“This stuff is totes gucci, bro.”

“That’s enough!” Bur’s blushing a little bit, fur bristling slightly.

“No but seriously. These are ridiculously good. They have like… feelings.” You try to grab another, but he bats your hand away.

“Get a freaking plate, dude. You need sauce with these.”

“No! This is my New Favorite Thing.” You snatch up the bowl while he’s off-guard and cradle it to your chest, leaning away from Burgerpants as he tries to pry it out from your clutches. “I totally just decided that this is my crack now.”

“It’s just ravioli???” His voice sounds strained as he moves closer, relentlessly trying to wrestle the bowl away. “Please just put it back-“

You stumble back a bit to put some space in between the two of you, very determined to keep your prize, and end up bumping into someone. The bowl of sauce they were holding sloshes a little over the edge, smearing itself along your shirt sleeve.

“Oh my gosh I am so sorry we were just goofing around.” The bowl of ravioli makes its way into Burgerpants’ grip as you apologetically turn around to face whoever you bumped into.

Grillby stares blankly at you.

At a loss for words, you stare back.

He offers what you now recognize as marinara to you.

You slowly take the container, feeling a little confused.

He nods at the ravioli.

Your face is a bonfire as you realize he was witness to that little… interaction. “O-Oh. Thanks, Grillby.”

He nods at you, burning a little bit brighter.

“Didn’t know you were here, Grillbz.” Bur had set down the bowl, stepping to stand next to you. “Were you volunteering too?”

The elemental nods sharply.

“Cooking?”

He nods again, before pointing to the ravioli.

“Did you… make this?”

Grillby nods a lot more vigorously, looking almost proud, while you simultaneously want to choke on your own tongue.

“Well, uh. My compliments to the chef!” You were being so foolish! With food he made! What if you had spilt it everywhere? Right in front of him?? Ahhhh, you **had**! Your SOUL felt like it was going to leap out of your chest.

You’re pulled out of your thoughts as Grillby yanks out a handkerchief- who even carries those things around anymore? - and grabs your arm, intent on cleaning off the smeared marinara.

You stare blankly as he tries to get off what he can, steadily working away. While it’s probably only been a few seconds, it feels like it’s been silent for too long.

“You definitely weren’t here for the crack ravioli.” You pipe up after Grillby’s pulled away, the red sauce much more faint now.

“Uhh. Clearly, I wasn’t.”

“So… what’s really up?”

“Don’t look at me, dude.” He holds his paws up defensively when you shoot him a nasty look. “I mean it! Nothing’s up. I’m just feeling a little weirdy.”

“Weirdy.”

He slowly inhales, exhaling smoothly as he turns to look out the window. “Yeah. Weirdy.”

“…Wanna go get some air?”

“Sounds good.” Burgerpants pushes away from the table, tail flicking lowly behind as he meanders towards the push doors. You follow next, Grillby bringing up the rear.

 

There’s actually a little barbeque going on in the back. The skeleton you recognize as Sans is out and about, and there’s a good crowd around him, laughing and cheering as he does some sort of trick with hot dogs… and… hot cats? There isn’t enough time to get a good look as you pass by, but it looks like it’s worth stopping by to check out later.

As they settle down next to a chalky white ledge with the kind of paint that leaves a fine dust on anything that touches it, you lean against the nearest wall. Bur drapes himself over the ledge, sighing as he stares up at the sky.

“ ‘s nice,” he says. And he’s right. It’s quiet. It’s peaceful.

You hum in agreement as you let your eyes close, quietly tuning into everything around you. If you listened very, very closely, you could hear Grillby’s ambient crackling. The thought makes you want to smile.

A few moments pass, shared in comfortable silence.

“Hey.”

“Mhm?”

“What scares you the most?” That gets your attention, and you let your eyes open.

Peering curiously over at the cat monster, you furrow your eyebrows. “Wait, what do you mean by that?”

“Shush, it’s time for real talk. What’re you afraid of?” Burgerpants shakes off the question, gaze still fixed on the horizon. “The dark? Human error? Being abandoned by everyone you’ve ever loved?”

Silence lingers in the air before you begrudgingly give in, scooting closer to the other two. “Change, I guess,” you faintly sigh, propping up against the ledge once more. “Well, I mean, it’s not really change I’m scared of, but just… the future in general. I mean- everyone’s always saying, ‘oh that’ll be different in the future’ or ‘it’s up to you all to change the future’ and I just…” You trail off, staring at the ground while the gentle wind toys with your hair, scattering it against the still bright sky.  “Not knowing exactly what we’ll have to handle in the future is… scary. Because it’s so vast. And something we will never, ever be able to determine. Ever.”

“I feel ya, man.” Burgerpants nods. “Having no control…”

“The future seems very far away, but it’s actually beginning right now.” Grillby adds, turning to look off into the distance.

What he _sounds_ _like_ , that rough and warm tone that feels strangely familiar, is the first thing you notice.

What he _actually_ _says_ is the second, and you can’t tell which is the one that really throws you into a shocked silence.

Burgerpants nods, completely ignorant of the sudden change in tone. “That’s deep, dude.”

You slowly turn, eyes wide, to observe Grillby. He’s completely relaxed, leg crooked up neatly as he reclines against the railing. He turns to face you, starting slightly as he meets your gaze.

The flames playing across his face gently warm, hues shifting and flowing together. “…It’s… a quote… I think.”

“I-I know!” You’re quick to defend yourself, embarrassed. “I just… didn’t expect…”

“Sorry.” Grillby’s head drops, remorseful. “I-“

“No- there’s no need to apologise!” You cut him off, pulling away from the ledge. “Your voice is lovely, I just… just…”

Just… what, exactly?

Wasn’t expecting to meet your SOULmate so soon?

Didn’t think your SOULmate would be like… this?

…Was he even your SOULmate?

He was right. It was a quote. Or, nearly. Ever since finding out your words, you frantically Googled them, severely disappointed after Stepanek’s name popped up. It wasn’t a common thing, sure, but… daydreams about who they might be had plagued you for weeks. A bookworm? Literary enthusiast? Poet? Once, your mind had run up a weeklong tale of falling in love with the owner of a bookstore, and… and you were probably being too harried.

“… I just thought you were... nonverbal. Like, entirely.” You manage to finish your statement, crossing your arms to fiddle with your shirtsleeves.

He silently shakes his head, flames glowing lighter, embarrassed somehow. While he did prefer remaining silent, admitting to himself that there was something different about you… made him feel a little bit flustered.

“Sorry, heh. Guess what they say about assuming is right.”

He tilts his head in question, crackling inquisitively.

You drop the topic, crossing both arms as you lean forward again. The blue sky suddenly seems unfitting, too bright and cheery without a single cloud in sight; and you sigh heavily, worries seemingly clouding along with your breath.

“…I’m gonna head back inside.”

Burgerpants nudges you with an elbow, tail curling neatly behind him. “I’ll come with ya. Gettin a little tired of this view, man. All blue skies and sunshine.”

Grillby inclines his head, watching the two of you head back inside. The way you’d looked at him after he spoke, that shocked expression… something, deep in his SOUL, seemed to cry out that it was wrong, that he needed to make it better, he did something wrong… It panged with dread as he turned back to watch the empty sky, fingers tapping against the dusty paint.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope the "different" characters aren't irritating anyone? like, holl and pino and all that.  
> like... i'm reluctant to tag them as ocs because i don't treat them that way. they don't exist outside of this story and i don't really care about them that much. i just use them to fill little positions here and there because forcing canon characters into every role necessary is going to result in some serious OOCness.... 
> 
> let me know if they bug you?? or if they don't?? it's hard to get a gauge on you guys

**Author's Note:**

> [thanks for reading!](http://melancholarie.tumblr.com/fics)   
> 


End file.
